Friday, 28 February 2025

Yesterday was a terrible day. Nothing went as planned, and everything I did seemed to go wrong. I couldn’t stay focused, constantly getting distracted by things coming my way. The more it happened, the harder it became to stop reacting. I was completely stressed out, frustrated, beating myself up. I felt like a failure because I couldn’t even follow a simple plan, even though the goals behind it mean so much to me.

I told myself I had to stop being undisciplined and weak, that I couldn’t keep avoiding things that were good for me out of laziness. I convinced myself that I would never reach my goals if I lacked the ability to push through.

Not surprisingly, I didn’t allow myself a moment of rest that day. By the time it was over, I was exhausted and miserable. I went to bed cursing the day, just wanting it to end.

The next morning, something shifted. I woke up with a thought so clear and powerful that it struck me like lightning. It was so unlike my usual thoughts that I couldn’t immediately explain where it had come from. But I knew instantly that it was true:

Yesterday’s plan didn’t work because the plan was bad. Not because I was.

Boom.

I was stunned. My pattern of self-doubt tried to challenge me one more time: Was I just making excuses? Letting myself off the hook? Was this laziness disguising itself as self-compassion? But no — this was different. This was the truth. The problem wasn’t me; it was what I had prioritized. I had spent all my time and energy on things that, when I really thought about it, weren’t what I actually needed in my life right now. Meanwhile, the things that truly mattered had been pushed aside. Suddenly, I could see it so clearly.

And then came another realization — one that shook me. Whenever something didn’t go as expected, my reflex was to blame and doubt myself — not the task, not the plan, but me as a person. Wow. Why was my default response to question myself rather than questioning what was on my to-do list? It had never even occurred to me that the plan itself might be flawed. Thinking about it — I really can’t let that happen any longer!

But what had changed? Where did this new way of thinking come from?

I think there might be an explanation…

Since I started looking into coaching techniques, I’ve been incorporating small exercises into my daily routine. One thing I’ve learned is that our identity is deeply shaped by what we attach to the words “I am…” Whatever follows those words defines how we see ourselves — and usually, we become what we believe we are.

I realized that I often attached negative attributes to my identity. So, I started practicing something I had learned in a coaching session earlier this year: every day, I write down three positive things I truly believe about myself. After a couple of weeks, I began to notice changes. The constant guilt I used to feel seemed to be dissolving — especially after repeatedly writing statements like ‘I have good intentions’ and ‘I am good’ during my exercises.

With this second incident I’m convinced, that this exercise has created a little warrior inside me — a part of me that now fights back when I slip into self-criticism. Wow, this is amazing! Hello, little warrior. I’m so happy you’re here! 😀

Needless to say, after this breakthrough, for the rest of the day I was filled with energy and inspiration. I got more done than usual effortlessly and, for once, happily allowed myself to socialize in the evening. I really hope I can stick to this new mindset because I have a feeling it has the power to change so much for the better. Maybe even my whole life.

My Takeaways

• Regularly ask myself: Is what I’m doing really aligned with where I want to go
• Pay attention to results. If I don’t see progress toward what I actually need, something has to change
• Don’t let external deadlines and motives force you to shift your priorities away from what truly matters in the present moment
• Positive Self-Affirmation Practice works